The Divine Feminine

Blogging is new for me and I often start with an idea that tends to evolve as I type.  Today is especially awkward as both my teenage children are hanging around wanting time with me.  Something in itself that is miracle and shows I haven't done too badly with my motherhood hat.  It is snowing heavily and we hardly ever are in the house at the same time.  So I am trying to get this wrote so the kids and I can spend some quality time.

I spent the week in Vancouver at the Society for BC Transition Houses conference.  When I returned home I felt a connection to women around the world in a new way.  Listening to the stories of violence and survival from the speaker at the conference really brought home how unique each of our stories is and how much the same.  I can feel the cord of the Divine Feminine linking us in a way that I never imagined before.

One of the speakers touched on how women have been persecuted through the Burning Times. (I can feel a research paper growing from this.)  She talked about how the Patriarchal Society decimated female wisdom and rights for 300 years, and how these ancestors were the ones who colonized the Americas, where the indigenous people often had a Matriarchal  Society.  The destruction that followed has left us with the legacy of today's world.

While I was in the city I was bombarded with violence in the news that left me feeling the need to crawl back under the covers and hide.  It was an eye opener at how I have shield myself from the world at large in order to protect myself.  I am so relieved to be back home in my safe cocoon.  Yet the images and knowledge of the horrors in the world are burned in my mind.  I feel a need to do something, anything to make the Earth a better place for all.

My Ego goes, who are you to change the world; My Heart goes, you have to try.  I know that the only significant change I can make is to myself, so I am working on healing my Divine Feminine.  I am working through the Ancestors reaching back in time to those women who suffered in the past and whose DNA I now carry.  This will not be an easy task or one I take lightly but it is the start and if I can reach out to other women in the now and share my story and hear their stories we can start something that will be bigger then any of us as individuals.

So from this day forward, I embrace my Divine Feminine.  I offer forgiveness to the Divine Masculine and I seek Balance in all areas of my life.

I'm off to carve pumpkins with my kids.  Sending you all love and hope for a future where we can live in peace, safety, and love.

I have a secret to share

So guess what I was doing at 9:00 am on a Monday.  I treated myself to a little self-love.  Yup, I was soaking in a decadent bubble bath with candles and magic music playing.  Mid-morning on a Monday you say? Crazy I know, its even worse, the dishes weren't done, the laundry is piled up and the dust bunnies are winning the battle.  Yet there I was in my own personal bliss, soaking away my hair up in a funny smelling mask, having the time of my life.

So what led to this rebellion of order?  Well I got up with my plan for the day in mind and took a quick scroll through my Facebook pages.  There was a definite theme happening, self love, time to care for your personal energy levels.  I thought this doesn't pertain to me, I always make time for myself.  I have never been one to give and give.  I know the adage, "you can not give from an empty cup," and I follow it.  Yet as these messages kept popping up I started to think.  When was the last time I really put some effort in to my me time.  Well it took a bit to remember so I knew it had been to long.

So once the kids headed out the door for school I took my cup of coffee and started to prepare for some good ole me seduction time.  I mean if I'm going to break all the normal conventions for a bubble bath it might as well be worth it.  Out came the expensive bubble bath, the scented candles, my favourite You-Tube sexy music.  My daughters hair mask.  I turned off the phones and tuned in to myself.

It doesn't matter when you find time to treat yourself like a Queen it only matters that you do.  When was you last luxurious bath time? Trust me it was worth it, and the dishes and laundry they never complained one bit about being put off a few hours.

Soul Searching

I was listening to my recording on the Forgotten Laws of the Universe the other day and Bob Proctor and Mary Morrissey were talking about orderly minds and discipline.  They mentioned how you can tell a lot about the state of a person's mind my their homes and cars.  Actually about the state of organization and cleanliness of their homes and cars.  I had a moment of extreme panic as I thought of my home and to a certain extent to my car.  Wow I must be beyond help, I still have boxes that need to be unpacked from our move 3 months ago.  The laundry needs folded, I'm scared to move the furniture as I'm sure there are colonies of Dust Bunnies hiding in the darkened corners.  So shaken by these thoughts I planned to spend my next two days off cleaning and organizing both my life and my home.  I did up a list of what was important to me and put in time slots to when it needed to be done. My day's were going to look like this:

3:30 AM up to make breakfast and lunches for my Love and the boys.
4:30 AM write my morning pages, meditate, send healing to anyone on my Reiki lists.
5:30 AM work out with my daughter while also doing laundry
6:00 AM eat breakfast, make my green smoothie for the road, and my lunch for the day.  Make sure supper preparations are out or in the Crockpot.
7:15 AM go to work
12:00 noon have Lunch, run errands, buy groceries ect.
1:00 PM back to work
5:00 PM anything else needed in town then head home.
6:00 PM home, start supper, clean around the house, any outside chores that need done
6:30 PM supper
7:00 PM feed animals
7:30 PM read, visit with my family help with homework.
8:00 PM go to bed

Well look at all I can accomplish in a day, I thought.  Of course there is no time to spend on facebook interacting with my friends, doing readings, creating posters, enjoying other peoples posts on facebook, writing my blog, or any of the other things I enjoy during the day.  Oh right those can all be done on my days off.  I'm sure I can fit them in around riding, camping, spending time with my kids, sleep (can't forget sleep), oh yay I'm supposed to finish unpacking, evict the Dust Bunnies, mop the floors, prep for winter, and organize my cupboards.

Well obviously this is a fantasy land, I'm well aware if my limitations so there is no way this wonderful plan I have created is ever going to happen.  Dejection hangs over me like a black rainy cloud in a cartoon.  My ambition to create something better fizzles away like the tiny ember left in a fire pit under a bucket of water.  I sleep for a good chunk of my first day off, the dreaded Migraine sleep of those that would like to be dead.  Once that has wore off, I take a realistic look at my life.  I'm HAPPY, my car needs cleaned but its up-to-date on its oil change and tire rotations.  I find Joy in spending hours puttering on my computer, creating things to share with the world and reading what others like me have created.  I KNOW my CHILDREN, we hang out doing aimless activities that we both like.  My house needs work but the laundry is clean if not folded and the floors get swept if not mopped.

I sacrifice my work out so I can spend time with the man I love, I sacrifice organizing the pantry so I can cook a wholesome meal, I sacrifice organization so I can give myself love and have more time for those around me.  Does this mean I may never be a successful person, NO it means I am a successful person. Namaste